"Incurable lover of the grotesque”

"Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad." - Salvador Dali

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I'm still wanting to learn tattooing, but since my energy has dropped very low, my practicing has come to a halt. I copied several pictures with all kinds of subjects and coloured them with colour pencils, and even tried out the fake-leather and few fruits, but now I am finding difficulties to take care of myself and my all-day chores. I was given a bigger dosage for my medication, and there's a plan to change the medication if nothing improves, so I am waiting to get my energy back one way or another.

Here's few drawings I made from pictures I found. There's
some differences with the original pictures. There's bound to be some differences since the artist is different and has a different style. Also the more details some pictures have the more difficult it becomes to copy, and at that time I just improvise. Not all leafs or branches need to be exactly at the same spots and sometimes you think that the picture looks better without something or add something to it, to make it look better for your needs. I do have ideas of my own, of course, you might have seen the ink-drawings and paintings all around this blog.



Also I did use photographs besides drawings and paintings as models for these images. A crucial part of portraying people and animals is using photographs as models. It's not enough to just copy them, you need to be able to draw people just by looking at them, to know how to draw their anatomy. Copying without really seeing and understanding how for example arms are attached to the torso or not measuring the limbs to fit to their natural places creates horrid looking mistakes.





As you can see, these pictures were photographed, not scanned, so the quality looks a bit blurry. I am the most laziest photographer after all. No good light at these pictures. And scanning seemed to take too much effort. Also the size of each drawing is very small. In the pictures below, the paper size is A3.

After I get my energy back, and I can continue practicing, I'll make more pictures that are more my own making. This was a good way to get to know the different styles and how to make them and colour them. If this becomes something more, I would want to be able to do as much of different styles as possible. There are some styles I do not like as much, and feel reluctant to even try, but still I want to learn as much as possible. I really hope this works out somehow. I don't have many options left.

The Crown of an Elk

(Copyrights belongs to yours truly)

I'm taking a bigger antidepressant dosage now - a bit bigger dosage. It's starting to work so I start to feel relieved once again.

I'm also slowly going into a hermit-mode. I'm starting to feel like I felt two years ago. A hermit who just does whatever he wants whenever he wants, living quietly by myself and enjoying it. I just get some interesting stuff for my house (I'm slowly trying to build a "mad scientist laboratory" for myself), watch movies and a couple of TV-series, eat and drink whatever I want and I've been trying to go for a walk in the weekends, but fortunately I've had social gatherings so I have enjoyed them instead, but otherwise I'm really deep in my own zone. It's starting to feel weird when I go somewhere where there's a lot of people, like stores and the town center. I don't think I feel anxious, but it just feels odd.

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I've also finally decided the kind of tattoo I want. I've been planning for years, changing the idea's and locations every now and then, but now I believe I have a solid idea that requires nothing more than the funding.
Of course I will get back to the subject if and when I get the money for it.
I believe it's smart to get a small or average sized tattoo when you're the so called "tattoo-virgin", that you have no ink yet. For me it's always been about the money, but it's also been about the idea. As an artist - of sorts - I feel that I need to have something of my own in the picture. The tattooist makes it theirs when they put it on my skin, but before that the design has to have something of mine. The idea must come from me. I wouldn't want to force any artist to do any of my own drawn pictures, since that would be just copying. I want them to use their own talents at that point on, when they take the idea of it.
But I will update the situation when I know it will happen.

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And another thing is that I'm currently looking for some really really cheap camera's - because I can't afford a good one now - nor later. I've been missing photographing for two years. It's kind of an instant artistic-relief. Just to take a camera and go outside. I've really missed that. Painting and drawing needs time that I don't have now that I'm studying - what would apparently be high school studies - on my free time after work.

I've made a couple of book finds, which are just great, and I've also for the first time bought myself a Joulu-tree. I don't want to use the word "Christmas" so "Joulu" is my country's equivalent but with the old pagan heritage and not the modern christian-nonsense. Apologizes, christian people. I just find the forced destruction of the old ways disturbing, and I don't want to endorse it. I rather take my own heritage and my family's traditions and mix them together. This subject would be a long one if I'd want to write about it, but I don't. This will do.

The Coven of Witches

Single-life really ain't bad. You can fulfill whatever whims and desires you get. 

Want to watch a movie? Any kind of movie you want? 

- Definitely.

Want to buy ice-cream and eat the whole damn thing by yourself? 

- Go ahead.

Want to buy things for yourself even if that means that you might have to eat porridge for the rest of the month? 

- You do that.

Want to paint/play video games all day/night long?

- Why not!

Those are just one examples when you're the king of your own house and you make the decisions for yourself. You have yourself to pamper. And maybe some pets too. 

Maybe couples who are perfect for each other can be individuals at the same time they're together, but I haven't experienced that. My individuality was reduced - besides many other things, but I like now that my home is my home again. I can do whatever I want with it. And it's slowly starting to look more and more amazing. If I had more money I would get some taxidermy-things and oddities, but I make do with what I have and what I can create.

(Could not find the artist of these Halloween-comic strips. Inform me if you know the name.)

I've been watching way too many tattoo reality tv-shows. It's just part of my relaxing after work, and I don't want to start watching any good new series because I need to study (and I need to focus a lot more now because that hasn't gone so well lately). 

Tattoo artist is one profession I have thought about since it's one way to stay as an artist and do art for a living, but it's a really difficult road. I'm not completely ruling it out, though. Let's first see what happens with the entrance exams in the spring. Then I know how many back-up plans I will need. I say "back-up" but what I mean is that I have few plans for my future, and all of them are quite hard to achieve, so I need to try my luck with all of them to see what will be the road for me. I don't mean to make anything sound trivial or unimportant.

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American Horror Story: Coven has already started airing new episodes. The first episode was amazing, just pure gold!