Horrible nightmares have left my waking hours a bit darker; nightmares about never receiving acceptance and love from my father and about my ex - who usually never visited my dreams after the break-up. Each dream oddly relevant. Usually my dreams make no sense, but this time they had the actual fears and horrors of real life. Failed relationships that stay in the shadows of the waking hour. But the apartment where I live I am constantly reminded of those two things; a family I never had and the failed relationship and the opportunity to see what a normal functional family looks like. There's several houses around the apartment-complex, each filled with gardens and families barbecuing in their backyards. It is a world I've never known and I find it also very strange.
And perhaps my lack of sleep has started to affect my psyche, since I haven't been quite as well as I was previously. But that is my fault entirely. Lack of sleep makes you more prone to depression.
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I still haven't finished my DIY-books, -fireplace and other smaller projects. And yet I keep adding more into the "unfinished projects" -piles: a vase with fruits and skulls. Inspired from the TV-series Hannibal. I think one was shown in the 2. season, somewhere in the last episodes dinner-scenes. I'm feeling too lazy to start searching for the particular picture.
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