(Copyrights belongs to me)
I have been feeling real lazy and/or tired lately. Yet again. Although I don't feel depressed, still more neutral than anything, I'm trying to figure out why I'm so tired if it is not depression acting up. Could it be, that I'm just normally tired for doing physical labor 35,1 hours per week? And spending my evenings more or less actively studying? I like to think so. And I also like to think, that it's ok to rest once in a while. That I deserve this and if I feel tired, it must be my body and psyche saying; take it easy. Whatever the truth is, I'm now going with that. I get tired just by thinking about the lack of time. I should just take it easy. Dealing with things when I come to that point. Living day by day.
So now I'm about to relax.
I wanted to write something about my obsession with my home; why I'm picky about people coming here, who can and who can't come, why it's important that my home pleases me and my needs from reading to hanging up my own paintings and what not.
For some people home is just a place to relax, sleep and socialize. For me, my home is a safe-place - a haven. I spend most of my time here, inside these walls, and I feel like it's my cocoon. No evil, no horrors of reality can penetrate these walls. Even when I'm or I was feeling depressed I felt more calm and content by being at my home. Being inside here doesn't feel like I'm locked in. I just wonder how many feel this way too. At least I can figure that out when I see different homes. I know who actually spend a lot of time there, how much their interior tells about them and what they appreciate.
I've started some unfinished projects at my home. Like re-painting my kitchen table to a more natural-wood colour, and I've even planned if I could shape the legs into lion-pawns, or maybe sculpting some of the wooden parts into dragon-heads.
Another project has been to figure out some way to turn one wall into another color without painting or putting a tapestry on it, since I live in a rented apartment. My landlord is cool, but I don't think he would approve my taste, so I probably need to do what I always do, when I want a different colour wall; I buy fabric/curtains, and hang them on the wall, so they cover it up. Not the most cheapest solution, but if you want some colours, you would have to paint over with white or other more approved color. Especially black is forbidden colour. I do not know why. Black is the colour of mid-winter sky at a moonless night. It's the colour of human-pupils, and as we know the saying "you can see the soul from eyes".
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On the top of this post is an etching-work I did few years back. Not really my kind of work that etching, although it's an experience, and all artists should at least try it.
But the thing I was portraying is Bacchus, Dionysos, who is one of my favourite gods of all of the old and new gods. Although he's an ancient Greek and Roman god, I always have had this special interest in those gods of those ancient times.
(A horrible water-colour "plan" of some painting I never got to do; 13x25cm)
The exact nature of the god changes a bit from where you read about him, but the main thing is that he's a god of wine, celebration, fertility, theater and you could say "arts". Some details differ.
I also find it fascinating, that some have compared him to the Christian Jesus Christ. That's because both are "gods" of reincarnation, both have died and reborn. Bacchus was eaten alive as a child by some monsters, perhaps gorgons, I can't remember the exact details. Only his heart was spared, and Zeus took it and recreated his son in his thigh. And also it is said that the child-Bacchus was ripped apart by Titans with the same ending. Other story says that the mortal mother of Bacchus was burned alive when seeing the real god-form of Zeus, and so Zeus took his unborn son and put him into his thigh. When Bacchus was born (again), he was at least by one story, raised by the god Hermes (step-brother in the light of relations), and to keep Bacchus safe from jealous Hera, Bacchus was raised up as a "girl".
There are so many interesting details about Bacchus, that I recommend that the interested readers should read more about him from wherever you want.
I have many favourite things in Greek and Roman mythologies from the classical god-deities to the monsters, and I've always been inspired by the stories. I even made a painting-collection dedicated to that theme. I had a whole bunch of other ideas streaming in my head for couple of years, and the ideas exist still, even though I can't paint with the lack of time and space.
I had some Minotaurus-ideas tickling my brain, and I really hope I can someday get these pestering ideas out of my head.
(Copyrights belong to yours truly, tempera- and oilpaint on board, 100x100cm)
Yes, this seems to be my style: bright-colours and not so realistic touch with a hint of symbolism.
I always think about how much I want to use real models for a change, and learn to paint realism before anything else, but without models I can only create from my head. Which is fine too, but I cannot help but to remember all the paintings I've started or finished with portraits of actual people. There is a night and day -difference there. With at least a face of a actual person the whole work becomes something else.
So if you, dear reader, are a painter or any kind of visual-artist, and you want to do realism or try it, all you have to do is get yourself a model. Even a really good, big picture is fine, if the final work will be on some smaller canvas or you have other means to copy the realism into your painting without frustrating re-sizing methods and you're capable of capturing the actual realistic features from a photograph into a bigger canvas.
Now that I feel more artistic again, I get these cravings to get painting. Gods, how I wish I had time, space and canvases to do that.
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