"The plastic face forced to portray, all the insides left cold and gray"

Normally at this time of the year I would be spending my weekends walking in the nature with a camera. I had this one crappy old digital camera, that me and my siblings got from a relative, who apparently thought that we would appreciate her old crappy camera when she buys a new better one for herself. A real benefactor. But the camera wasn't any good and so most of my photographs are technically unsound.

(Copyrights belongs to yours truly)

Sorry for sounding bitter. My medication is wearing off so I'm getting into a foul mood. Like my whole body was a one huge raw wound. It's no surprise the medication doesn't work anymore since after a misunderstanding I've been taking a lot less than I was supposed to. It still worked for a while.
Now I'm starting to take a bigger dosage. Hopefully it will have the desired effect. I'm so tired of this up and down affect. I get to taste the relieving normality before I come crashing down into this state that I do not want to think about. This is horrifying. I live on the edge of a knife when this gets bad. My reality starts to crack and I don't know what to do with myself. I was afraid that this up and down with medication would be a continuing problem, but the nurse that I'm seeing told me that with the right medication it shouldn't happen. I clutch on to that thought. 

The Day The World Went Away

I'd listen to the words he'd say

but in his voice I heard decay

the plastic face forced to portray

all the insides left cold and gray

there is a place that still remains

it eats the fear it eats the pain

the sweetest price he'll have to pay

the day the whole world went away