Greetings

I made this blog to continue my rantings. I had a livejournal-account, when I was a teenager, and I poured a lot of angst and what-not into it, but now I was thinking that I could make an average blog for myself, and make it with half-art and half-personal content. I already have a blog for art, but since some personal issues, I haven't been able to get any work done, and I even had to cancel on an opportunity to make illustrations for a book.


Besides I want to practice my English. It's been years since I wrote long sentences with English. I can't talk it though, I have a horrible Finnish-English accent.


Oh, and the image in the background is a unfinished painting - made by yours truly. Since it's unfinished, I won't be posting the real version here until - or IF - I get it done someday.

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Introduction

I'm a 25 year old male, who isn't really doing anything worth mentioning with my life. I have plans, which were postponed when I met a girl, whom I thought I would spend my life with --- and I was wrong.


I'm really, really a relationship-person. The kind that wants the whole life with together with someone, a home and cats and dogs and maybe babies or not. Anything else in my life doesn't seem as important, and I sometimes wonder why is this so important to me.


Anyway, after a bad break-up I've been a bit of a mess. I'm glad I have a job to go to, so I don't just get stuck inside the apartment all day. It's just that I let go of the control, so I feel like I'm just going with the flow, and that means breaking strick self-control.

I'm still trying to get on with my life at the same time that I'm letting myself go.

Like smoking and watching all sort of sticoms for hours while browsing stuff from the internet that I could buy.

And then at times I do push-ups and search single girls from dating sites, trying to get to that place I want to be in; together with someone who would finally love me for the rest of our lives. I'm just getting so tired of one-sided love.

Sometimes I wonder if my family - or myself, is cursed with finding love.

So this rambling is part of my break-up process.

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I have a bottle of red wine (-> big fan of it) and I could watch something romantically gothic like Bram Stoker's Dracula -movie. It's kinda corny in a way, yet it suits my sometimes corny views of romance.

And the idea seems fitting for my current mood.

And I'm also looking for any excuse to taste the wine I got. It was a present, a housewarming gift.

                                                           (Listening to Type O Negative - Love you to death)