“Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.”

Mornings are particularly difficult. It seems that my mind is more affected by any negative thoughts in the first hours of the awakening. For instance, this morning I thought to myself how pointless life is and especially how disgusted I am with the human-race. It's an old issues that I thought I had made my peace with a long time ago. This hate and disgust toward humanity started with my first depression when I was a teenager. It stopped with the depression, I think. I started to read about Buddhism at that point and all the disappointments and anger stopped - until last year it resurfaced. 

Ever since I was a kid, I loved the nature. The animals, the plants - everything in it. When I grew up I had to learn about the human history, and what our race has done to each other, to ourselves and to the planet. And still continue to keep on doing harm to everything around it. The reality of it and the human-nature is a hard thing to accept. Especially when your influenced by it everyday.

Before I understood that I could do all I can as a one person. The way I treat people, treat environment, but I can't save the world all by myself. That thought comforted me, but now it doesn't help me anymore. I just want to quit this game and go in to the wilderness and disappear.

When I was carrying on doing my chores with this dark cloud over my head I suddenly heard a song, that turned this sick feeling into serenity and after that into euphoria. It was from the opera from Léo Delibes called "Lakmé", the song is called "The Flower Duet", "Duo des fleurs". I got this feeling that I want to listen to more opera, since I enjoy classical music besides rock and metal-music. 

For a moment there, I thought to myself, that as long as there's art in this world, something that looks and sounds divine, it's a proof that the mankind has few people in it, with a soul that can produce immortal beauty.

But that soul has been partly tainted by the other part. For many of you readers that song might be more familiar from commercials, which have slaughtered many of the eternal classic-songs, that have the kind of rare light in them, that can lift our spirits, just as it did to me. I can never forgive the advertising industry for the way they exploit beauty. Yet they cannot soil its soul no matter how hard they seem to be trying to do that.

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"The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possible can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something." ― Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country.