And today's windy weather is shaking down the rest of the leaves.
If the sky remains clear tonight, it might be amazing to walk outside at night. Screaming wind, starry black sky and tree branches reaching like scary fingers in the moonlight.
One thing I wish I could get back is my enthusiasm towards nightly walks. Last time I did that was a year ago... Maybe after I have healed enough, I might get it back. I might get some other things back, that I lost.
I've just done a lot of thinking and I've done some confronting with difficult subjects, but with my medication I have been able to find enjoyment from different things. That's one thing I thought I had lost. Also laughter is something that - blissful enough - I've done after a long, long time.
Maybe also the upcoming Halloween has got my mind cheered up. I've done some decorations for the small party, like paper bats flying on the walls (and my cats try to keep on hunting them although I put a lot of time and effort into making those things), pumpkin heads and a creepy tree. Today I started making small skulls out of dough, since I can't afford decent modeling clay. I know this great clay, that's white and it gets hard really fast, so if I remember correctly, you had to mold it with a bit of water, and after that it would get hard by itself and then you could put paint on it. That clay is great, and not too expensive for making small things, but I'm a bit broke, so I really needed to use my imagination. Go all McGyver on Halloween.
It's a shame I can't take photographs of the stuff I've done.
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I know that my blog is quite moderate and has no important thought-provoking content, but this is just my corner for small trivial things. And to share about my experience on heartbreak, being single, asexual, goth and metal head and to tell about things that interest me. And for a bonus I will share things that might interest any readers, like webshops or whatever I find.
I don't like to write about anything topical or politically important because there's just so much one person can take, and talking about dead serious problems especially while being medically depressed isn't appealing.
I found out my limits when I was a teenager. I was so angry and disappointed with humanity I found the state of the world overwhelming. After the realization that I, being just one person, could do only so much, I decided to block out the news of the world from my mind. I read and watch the news everyday, but I also lock them out from my mind so they don't really get to me. I sometimes talk about politics with my friends and family, how the world is going to hell and we are being sucked into a current or a hurricane, and we can only try to survive in this world, but reality is too hard for anyone to bare. Me talking about bad things - although realistic things - would make anyone depressed, not just me. So I will leave the horror's of reality to someone else.
Instead I will keep on writing stuff about myself. To whoever might be interested. At least I find some personal problems in other blogs to be interesting. When some blogger is fighting with depression I feel sympathy and I like to read how that person gets along with their life.
(Copyrights belongs to yours truly)
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