"Justice may have once been blind, But now she can see, She just lost her mind, So we put her away"

(Copyrights belong to me)

Perhaps the unfulfilled need to be loved makes me feel like I am a bad person somehow. I don't even know how I would be a bad person, but I've always been able to relate myself with the villains rather than heroes. Only because of this feeling of being no-good, unlovable, somehow not like anyone else for always being secluded from life. 
People telling me that I'm good doesn't really seem to have any effect on this way of thinking.

It seems that I am doomed to live with this false shadow over my head. I hope it remains false, that I won't make it reality since of my lack of respect towards my own being. I cannot ever fully like myself as long as I'm being disliked by people for just being who I am, the way I was born, by the people who raised me and the choices and mistakes I've done.
I always found it to be unfair, that for example my ex's father seemed to more or less secretly despise me although I never did anything bad to him, nor his daughter. It can be exhausting to be hated for just being alive.

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(Copyrights belong to me)

That ends the thoughts of today.

Now after my window-painting I've directed my attention to the roof. I've been planning some kind of easily removable roof-painting. Some kind of astrological map of stars. Maybe in the weekend I can start planning.