Wednesday 11 September 2013

“I sung of Chaos and Eternal Night, Taught by the heav'nly Muse to venture down The dark descent, and up to reascend"

"Even in my dreams You put me through Hell"


"I've tried everything I could
To make you see the good in me
I'm just sorry that I failed
Keep your empty tears"


- Voltaire "See you in Hell"

*

If a guy would lead a girl on with saying that he loves her and he wants to spend the rest of your lives together and get married someday and all that, and then he would start to say that he can't deal with your problems, that he can't stand adversities and calling you every day to say that he's not sure if he loves you, torturing you with those words day after day, until he finally, after a weeks of torture leaves her - to change his mind after few days and takes her back with hundreds of promises about love forever-lasting, until he finally for the final time leaves her saying that he never loved her, and she would do well to move on with her life as he did after a month of the breakup. That kind of guy would be considered to be a complete and utter bastard.

So what does all that make a girl, who did all that to a guy?

*

A horrifying turn to my day happened, when I dropped my old phone somewhere, and some thief took it for himself and sent nasty text messages to my friend and my sister...

I got the phone back with the help of my friend, who was very tough with the thief, and pressured him to give the phone back. The thief told me a story how he got the phone and how he was the innocent one and someone else was the thief, and I don't care about the "how" just as long as I got my phone back and no more harm was done with it.

*

Voltaire


"Almost Human"

What did I ever do to you,
That you should treat me this way?
Is it really such a crime,
For an angel to speak his mind?
In time I'll try to shed some light.

If I were a big boy I wouldn't cry,
But since I'm not a big boy I'll have to cry.

What did I ever do so wrong,
That you should cast me from grace.
Though I love to rule in hell here,
How I miss the taste of heaven,
Its soft and cool embrace.

If I were a big boy I wouldn't cry,

But since I'm not a big boy,
I'll have to close my eyes 
And picture what's it's like.

I'm just like you,
I'm made by him,
Despised by they,
I'm almost me.
I'm nearly human look at me
I'm almost a human being.

I'm just like you,
Made by him,
Despised by they,
I'm almost me.
I'm nearly human,
Pity me I'm almost a human being.

I still remember your light,
And it was streaming down
And burning out my eyes.
If I were a big boy I wouldn't cry,
But since I'm not a big boy,
I'll have to close my eyes
And picture what it's like.

I'm just like you,
I'm made by him,
Despised by they,
I'm almost me.
I'm nearly human look at me
I'm almost a human being

These tears are real,

I'm jealousy, I'm spite and hate,
To the core I'm mean.
I'm nearly human look at me
I'm almost a human being.
I'm just like you,
Better than he,

To hell with they.
I'm almost me,
I'm nearly human
Pity me I'm almost a human being.

Don't touch me,
I couldn't bear the thought of it now.
Don't touch me,
I couldn't bear the strength.



Don't touch me,
I couldn't bear the thought of it now.
Touch me touch me touch me,
Don't touch me touch me touch me.




That song reminds me of a unhappy relationship but mostly the book Paradise Lost by John Milton - fall of the Lucifer. And I really should save some money to get that book for myself, since I worship the illustrator Gustave Doré, who has made pictures for the Paradise Lost. 

Just lay your eyes on these beautiful, beautiful pictures and tell me how amazing Doré is. I could never be nearly as great, but I will collect every book he has made illustrations in, like Dante's Divine Comedy and some versions of the Bible. 


“Me miserable! Which way shall I fly
Infinite wrath and infinite despair?
Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell;
And in the lowest deep a lower deep,
Still threat'ning to devour me, opens wide,
To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven.” 


― John Milton, Paradise Lost


“O sun, to tell thee how I hate thy beams
That bring to my remembrance from what state I fell, how glorious once above thy sphere.”


John Milton, Paradise Lost

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