(Copyrights belongs to yours truly)
After my medication kicked in, I started to feel normal and just simply better.
The usual day to day thoughts don't haunt me no more.
I don't even mind being by myself. I usually don't mind it. Never have. I've grown accustomed to it.
Never known anything else at least not since my childhood and youth when I was surrounded by my family and friends. But the older I got, the more I was supposed to rely on myself as everyone else did and moved on with their lives.
At times I do wonder what it might be like to live in the kind of culture, where family is close, and several generations inhabit the same house.
Sometimes I do wonder about things like that.
The melancholy loneliness, that I suffer severely when the medication doesn't work, is like the feeling you got when you were a child, and you woke up from a nightmare in the night or early dusk, and you wondered with your child mind in the dead silent home, if everyone in the world has vanished, and you were all alone in the world. And you are stuck in this twilight time, between night and dawn, and there's not a soul to be found - only you.
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